Month: April 2020

Making arrangements for a baby’s funeral is something which parents do not expect to do and which feels against the natural order of things. You may never have arranged a funeral before and feel overwhelmed by the amount of things to consider. Please be assured that feelings like this are normal and does not change the bond you have with your baby. Your healthcare team, funeral director and friends and family are there to support you, as is the Sands Helpline, app and online community.

Government guidance around social distancing has changed how funerals work in some respects. There are important considerations around arranging and holding a funeral that are outlined below. The National Association of Funeral Directors recommends that, in order to minimise contact and the risk of spreading COVID-19:

• Funeral arrangements be made over the telephone
• If arranged in person, all people attending observe social distancing guidance
• If a funeral must be arranged in person, please respect the social distancing guidance – keep two metres apart, wash hands frequently, cough or sneeze into a tissue/crook of your elbow and limit the number of people attending in person to arrange the funeral.

People presenting symptoms of coronavirus should self-isolate and must not attend the appointment in person. This is to protect the public but also the workforce who need to stay healthy and support other bereaved families.

Further information on funeral arrangements can be found here.

Appointments to register stillbirths or deaths may be taking place under new guidance in your local office. You must not go to a register office in person unless advised by a registrar as most public buildings are closed. Always contact the register office first for guidance. 

Registrations may be postponed for babies who are born alive and in a special care unit, however as of March 2020 stillbirths and deaths are being registered mostly over the telephone. This means your Midwife or Local Authority will be able to connect you with a Registrar who will take information about your loss and issue the legal forms needed to arrange the funeral. Please note that the way this service operates will vary according to Local Authority so how long things will take will vary across the UK. It is expected that services will function with some delays until the impact of the pandemic has passed.

Appointments to register stillbirths or deaths may be taking place under new guidance in your local office, so do check with them prior to attending in person. Each local authority will have contact details for enquiries on their current procedures, so ensure you consult their web page or, alternatively, go to www.gov.uk/register-stillbirth for up-to date guidance.

In Scotland, arrangements are different. Registering births is postponed and stillbirths and deaths are being registered remotely via phone and email, see National Records of Scotland (NRS) registration services here.

From March 2020, the UK government has put guidance in place that affects the functioning of public building offices in the UK in response to the coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic. This will mean that, in order to reduce the risk of transmitting the virus, registration for births and deaths may not take place in person and could possibly take place or over the telephone, or be assisted by funeral directors.

If your baby died during labour or soon after birth, maternity staff will talk with you about your care while you stay in hospital, what support you can expect from health care professionals, and about visiting. Every effort will be made to give you the support you need and help you through the choices you make about yourself and your baby.

You can request a Sands Bereavement Support book from your hospital, which is available to download through a free app or as a physical book. Hospitals may also still be able to provide you with a memory box to offer you the option of making memories during time with your baby. You can also order a memory box or a Sands Bereavement Support Book through the Sands online shop for free or by contacting the Sands Helpline helpline@sands.org.uk

If your baby has died before labour, you will need to attend hospital to deliver your baby. The choices about where you can give birth and who can attend hospital to support you may be affected by the current COVID-19 situation. Your midwife or doctor will be able to talk with you about what is possible locally and what to expect when you go to hospital. They can tell you about how visiting will work and what support you can expect from healthcare professionals after your baby is born.

You can read general information for any woman giving birth from Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists here.

If you feel unsure about making decisions about the birth choices available, maternity staff are there to listen and to support you. It may help to talk it through with family and friends.

We are very sorry you have to access this guide. The death of a baby is a devastating loss and we know how much more distressing this is likely to be at a time of uncertainty and worry over how medical and public services operate.

Please remember to follow government advice about social-distancing and self-isolation from Public Health England and other nations. If you have concerns about yourself or someone else developing symptoms please refer to NHS 111 advice about coronavirus.

During the coronavirus pandemic, our bereavement support services remain available to anyone affected by the death of a baby, bereaved parents, family members and healthcare staff.

Our freephone helpline is available to call on 0808 164 3332 or email helpline@sands.org.uk

The opening hours are 9.30am to 5.30pm Monday to Friday and 5.30-9.30pm Tuesday and Thursday evenings.

At Sands we understand that making arrangements following the death of your baby is not something you expected to be doing and it can be hard to think about the choices you have. At this time, when there are government restrictions to prevent the spread of COVID-19, there are some changes to what you might expect, for example around the breadth of choices available to you. We have written a guide to support you during your time in hospital, making choices about a post mortem, when registering a stillbirth or neonatal death and when arranging for a funeral, cremation or memorial service.