Even though babies and very young children might not understand what has happened, they are likely to be sensitive to the feelings of people around them. Their behaviour may change. For example, they may become clingy and dependent, and their eating and sleeping patterns may change.
This can be very hard for grieving parents who are already exhausted with grief. If it is possible for you to help with childcare, this could help them have some time for themselves. Being looked after by a trusted relative or friend who loves them may also help children to feel cherished and important. However, it may be better for some children to remain in their own home and spend time with their parents and with you.
It is important that parents tell their children what has happened. What a child is told will often depend on the child’s age and ability to understand, the questions they ask, and the parents’ decisions. It can be helpful if you know what has been said and discussed with the children. It may also help if you try to use the same words and phrases, and avoid giving more information than the parents have agreed.
You may also notice that the parents change their approach to caring for their living children. For example, some parents may react by becoming very protective of their children. Other parents may “relax the rules”. It is important to try to understand that the parents are doing the best they can in extremely difficult circumstances.