Certain dates and the days leading up to them may be particularly difficult; for example, the anniversary of your baby’s due date or the day they died. Many bereaved parents feel particularly sad before or during special holidays. If you attended antenatal classes, hearing about other babies being born may be especially hard.
You may want to consider booking leave on dates that you expect to be especially difficult for you. This can take the pressure off and perhaps give you an opportunity to do something different or visit a place that has special meaning for you. From 2020 if these dates fall within the first 56 days of your baby’s death, you could use your leave under the Parental Bereavement (Pay and Leave) Act to do this. The Act is due to come into effect sometime in 2020.
Returning to work might represent a certain sense of “normal” for you even if nothing seems normal. It is important to remember that falling into a routine does not mean that there may not be times when you need to take time off to process your grief, or that you are “forgetting” or not honouring your baby. At work, it is essential to communicate your practical and emotional needs as far as you can with your employer.
The Sands Bereavement Support Team may be able to help you to communicate this to your employer or manager.