There are different ways in which you could involve your children and help them feel part of what is happening around them. You could ask if your child would like to come to the hospital to see the baby and say goodbye. If you are going to be bringing your baby home, you could explain that this is so that the whole family can say goodbye together.
Many parents collect keepsakes of their baby which can be stored in a memory box. Other children might want to add something of their own to the box. Depending on their age, they could do a drawing or painting, or write a poem or a letter. Some children might want to give the baby a cuddly toy which could be placed in the coffin or kept in the memory box. Children might also want to help make a memory box for the family or to make one themselves. They might also like to have a photograph taken with the baby. Depending on your child’s age, you might like to take them to the funeral and encourage them to participate in the service.
In the months following the funeral, you might like to take your children to visit their sibling’s grave, or a special place where you scattered ashes or planted memorial trees. Children may want to bring something special to leave on the baby’s grave. Some places have restrictions about what can be placed on the grave. For example, they may not allow items such as balloons, soft toys, pictures or wind chimes. It’s a good idea to find out in advance about any restrictions in order to avoid disappointing a child who wants to take a special item along with them.